How to avoid a Trapped Arm in Bed

VideoJug: How To Avoid Trapped Arm Whilst Cuddling In Bed

Smells Like Teen Spirit......

Like you have never seen it before..........

Pain in the Neck

There are so many things in this world the are a pain in the neck but it seems none more so than an actual pain in the neck! You see, this morning, I awoke at 4am to discover that a problem I had had some time back in my neck had re-occurred. The first time it happened, lets call it 'Neck affliction', was about a year ago and I remember having to drive down to Portsmouth to meet a band whilst being unable to turn my head. Not a problem until you get to either a junction or if you are trying to change lanes on the motorway. Whats even worse is that because you look like a robot, people just laugh at you, in fact sympathy was given by no-one. But I got through it and after a week, I had managed to defeat the pain, just your average war movie.

Unlike most film sequels 'Neck Affliction 2 - Meetings of dread' was not only a better storyline but included romance and far more pain. It was bad enough that my German girlfriend was going back to Germany that weekend and I had planned a lovely weekend that was ruined by a phone call reminding me that I was supposed to be elsewhere in the country but to then have the agony of the neck pain really topped it off. It all ended up really lovely with Anja joining me at the hotel I was staying at so that we could still have our last weekend together but what wasn't nice was me walking around the town center at 5 in the morning desperately trying to find somewhere that might sell pain killers.

2 weeks later the pain had finally subsided and all went back to normal.

So, here we are, 2 days off the biggest party night of the year and its back ' Neck affliction 3 - This time with a vengeance'. I awoke at 4am in agony, couldn't move for 20 minutes and then managed to get into the shower to try and sooth it with hot water. No good! I ended up going to the hospital and waiting 2 and a half hours to be seen. As I was taken through and sat down to start another wait I overheard a very old man in the cubical next to me asking a nurse if he could go home. 'Not yet' she replied, 'the doctor is just coming over'. The doctor turns up and with a loud (he was a bit deaf) and dispassionate vice declares ' sir, you have broken your neck'. At this point the gentleman, probably well into his 80's says 'so can I go home now then?'.

Of course the answer was no but to then have the same doctor come to deal with my neck which certainly isn't broken left me at a bit of a disadvantage. A quick feel round it and he declared it a muscle spasm although why it should keep re-occurring is apparently a mystery. O top of that, apparently, it only lasts a couple of days and then goes away, oh no it doesn't! Apparently, the reason as to why the pain is with me for 2 weeks or more is also a mystery. But of course, we wouldn't like to investigate and check any of these things would we, this is not an episode of House, its much better to stuff some drugs in my hands and watch me 'do the crouch' as I walk off into the sunrise and live painfully ever after.....

I can't help it........

One more Peter Griffin compilation

Continuing the Family Guy theme.......

The Best Bits of Peter Griffin

Family Guy

For anyone that knows me, this post does not come as a suprise, I love Family Guy and watch it far too much. It makes me laugh so hard that I nearly wet myself!

This scene is taken from one of the latest episodes, the family is about to die when Peter makes one last confession.......... Oh, and it looks like they finally understand Stewie.

Take That, I'm home again

Yes, I'm back in sunny England, I have to say, we all laugh about our weather but it was just as bad in Germany, just a little colder. As usual when I go away, I had forgotten a few essentials, a jumper, my phone charger and a razor being the main things this time. The razor was sorted easily enough, I used Anjas lady shave which as far as I was concerned was no different to any other razor. The only difference I can now see is that lady shavers are designed to cut blokes to pieces. I have not cut myself since I went through puberty and started trying to get rid of the fluffy haze that I referred to as a beard!

The phone charger was more tricky, I had to keep the phone turned off and just check messages once a day. It actually lasted until last night when I landed in London. I stayed overnight at my best mates, had 1 too many pints of Guiness and left it there this morning, DOH! Its being posted back to me tomorrow!

The Jumper was the thing that Anja decided to bring up at every given moment, whenever I thought I had a bit of one upmanship on a subject, I would be brought down to earth as I shivered in the cold wind as was asked why I was not wearing something warm, women!

I will tell you more about the trip over subsequent days, in the meantime, I have to tell you about the trip back. I was sat in the British Airways Plane praying that the overweight smelly man that had checked in behind me was not going to end up next to me when someone in front caught my eye. 'My', I thought, that man looks strangely like Mark Owen. Wow, thats a coinsidence the bloke next to him looks like Gary Balow. Well, no coinsidece, Take That were sitting 2 seats in front of me!

I decided not to say anything to them on the flight, I had a book to read, 48 pages left, I had to finish it before touch down.

On our departure from the plane I walked alongside them, pretended that I was with them, everyone turning thinking, 'I wonder who the new member of the band is?' It was at that point something terrible happened, I heard myself whistling a tune, not just any tune, I was whistling 'Want You Back' while walking alongside the band that had originally sung it. The shame, what must they have thought? It was at that point I thought of changing my hum to a Robbie Williams song, to see if I got a reaction but I resisted.

I had a bit of banter with them in the queue at the passport lounge but apart from that kept myself to myself, I work in the industry, I certainly wasn't going to come over all star struck!

I then left them, desperate for the toilet and found the urinals. Now those of you that are males reading this will know that the urinal in the middle is the least preferred, it is also the place where stage fright is most likely to happen. Not that I normally have a problem with that so up I went. All of a sudden, as if by magic, Mark Owen appears by the side of me, well that was it, I couldn't go. There is nothing worse than standing at the urinal, nothing happening and then having to pretend to finish and walk off STILL needing the loo. What was even worse is that I didn't want to admit I couldn't go so I just stood there and waited for Mark to finish as it was obvious what had happened if not. Well that man must have drunk the plane dry, I have never known anyone to pee for so long!

So there we go, a trip to Germany and a pee with Take That, you can never say my life is dull!