How to Undo A Bra With One Hand

Couldn't help it, had to post this, its brilliant!



VideoJug: How To Undo Her Bra With One Hand

How to avoid a Trapped Arm in Bed

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Potatoes

An old man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his potato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son Fred, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Fred,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love,
Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
For heaven's sake, don't dig up that garden! That's where I buried the BODIES!
Love,
Fred

At 4am the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love,
Fred

I always knew beer was a lifesaver

Man Peed Way Out Of Avalanche
From ananova.com
January 27, 2005

A Slovak man trapped in his car under an avalanche freed himself by drinking 60 bottles of beer and urinating on the snow to melt it.

Rescue teams found Richard Kral drunk and staggering along a mountain path four days after his Audi car was buried in the Slovak Tatra mountains.

He told them that after the avalanche, he had opened his car window and tried to dig his way out.

But as he dug with his hands, he realised the snow would fill his car before he managed to break through.

He had 60 half-litre bottles of beer in his car as he was going on holiday, and after cracking one open to think about the problem he realised he could urinate on the snow to melt it, local media reported.

He said: "I was scooping the snow from above me and packing it down below the window, and then I peed on it to melt it. It was hard and now my kidneys and liver hurt. But I'm glad the beer I took on holiday turned out to be useful and I managed to get out of there."

Parts of Europe have this week been hit by the heaviest snowfalls since 1941, with some places registering more than ten feet of snow in 24 hours.

Rain

Oh, look, what a change, its raining. What joy, what wonder, water from the sky, life giving water plant growing water, flood causing, depresion making wet, cold stuff arrggggghhhhhhh, make it stop!!!!

3 weeks, have we seen any sun? Well, yeh I guess we have but thats not the point, its horrible out there at the moment and its making me feel so, well so bleuarghhh. Know what I mean?

Take today for example, I woke to find my throat had been invaded by hedgehogs, once I got rid of them and realised my chest infection had got worse I realised there were frogs down there as well. Why? Because of the rain, thats why. But then I looked out of the window, a smile came to my face, the sun was there, blazing down, calling me outside, calling me to bask in its presence and recharge the batteries.

So I jumped in the shower, had my wash and got ready to go outside. Got to the door and it had gone, it had been teasing me, the rain was there in its place.

Please sun, whatever I have done to annoy you, forgive me and come back!!

Talent on Tv

It seems that a couple of channels have gone mad on these talent show programmes. I have to say that I am not interested at all but came across this the other day and have to say I love it!

Street Drummers

Watching this makes me wish that I had kept practising with the pots pans and bins as a child!

Smells Like Teen Spirit......

Like you have never seen it before..........

Gotta love Vancouver

Noah in 2007

In the year 2006, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in England and said, “Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing, along with a few good humans.”

He gave Noah the CAD drawings, saying, “You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.”

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark.

“Noah!” He roared, “I’m about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?”

“Forgive me, Lord,” begged Noah, “but things have changed. I needed Building Regulations Approval because the Ark was over 30m2. I’ve been arguing with the Fire Brigade about the need for a sprinkler system.
My neighbours claim that I should have obtained planning permission prior to building the Ark in my garden because it is development of the site even though in my view it is a temporary structure, but the roof is too high. I had to appeal to the Secretary of State for a decision.

The Local Area Access Group complained that my ramp was going to be too steep, and the inside of the Ark wasn’t fully accessible, then the Department of Transport demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark’s move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem. All the decent trees have Tree Preservation Orders on them and we live in a Site of Special Scientific Interest set up in order to protect the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!

When I started gathering the animals, the RSPCA sued me.

They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will - arguing the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

Then the County Council, the Environment Agency and the Rivers Authority ruled that I couldn’t build the Ark until they’d conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

I’m still trying to resolve a complaint with the Equal Opportunities Commission on how many BMEs I’m supposed to hire for my building team.

The trades unions say I can’t use my sons. They insist I have to hire only CSCS accredited workers with Ark-building experience.

To make matters worse, the Customs and Excise seized all my assets, claiming I’m trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark.”

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, “You mean you’re not going to destroy the world?”

“No,” said the Lord. “The government already beat me to it.”

Not gone yet!

So thought I would post this, one of the best music videos out there. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

I'm off camping for the weekend

I know, big question, WHY?

Anyway, until I return.....

Jurassic fart

Moooooove it!

Who's company is this?

This is fantastic, all I can say is that once we get enough employees at musicfinity, we have to make something like this to send out as an advertisement!! In fact, stuff it, wanna be a part of a video similar to this (not the same, can't completely rip it off) and you could help advertise www.musicfinity.com

I have asked for requests and I have had them

Seems that some of my mates wanted some of this series of doctor who posted up, here are the two latest episodes, which I have to say were very good. 2 cause it was a 2 parter.

Family Guy to come soon.....


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For those of you that are bugging me............

For those of you that are bugging me to update my blog.............. I'M BUSY, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS????? I DON'T PONCE AROUND JUST WORKING WEEKENDS OR AT THE YMCA (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE) SO GET OVER IT, HMMMMMM, HMMMMMMMMMMM?

Anyway, I am in a bad mood, but for thosae of you that know Steve (aka BCEE, aka went to ibiza cause culdn't hack the uk, aka The great flag worship lover) here is a little video taken by the guys from AORTA who went to visit him!



ps, I love you guys and know you haven't really been bugging me and know you are not poncing about but I went for the cheap laugh!

Something Fun

A little game for your enjoyment, especially if you remember the platform games of the 80's.

MindScape

Been a little heavy tonight so.......

Thought I would put the next episode up early.......


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So I am Talking Tomorrow Part 2

I just realised that I went off on one in the post below and didn't actually talk about what I was going too, hense the title not matching up.

Basically, I am talking tomorrow to what we call our house group. Basically, house group is a small group from church that meets at my house. The reason being that it is hard to build up friendships with people in the larger format of church so in the smaller groups, we can come together, learn about our faith and support one another to the best of our abilities.

Tomorrow, I have been asked to talk on 'The Character of God'. It an interesting subject and there are many different aspects I could pick on, in fact just 30 mins of research into the bible tells me that God is:

1. Compassion , Mercy, Grace
2. Love
3. Impartiality
4. Patience
5. Goodness
6. Justice
7. Holiness and Truth
8. Perfection
9. Wisdom
10. Faithfulness
11. Sovereignty
12. Glory
13. Jealousy
14. Immutability

I could tell you more about each one and give you verses that back it up (and if you want me to do that please comment) but the thing I have been thinking about is this:

Tere is only so much you can get from a talk about what God is like but if you don't experience it, what does it mean? The answer I have come up with is simple, it means nothing. I cooked a spinach and ricotta lasagne tonight (with added meat, vegetarian? whats that?) but it was the first time I had used the recipe. I could read it and be told about it as much as I liked, I might start to believe it was good and even tell a few people about it based on reccomendations and the picture that Deia gave me but unless had tasted it tonight, I probably would have forgotten about it quite soon. We need to have the experience of God that people that wrote about Him in the bible had.

You may think thats a wierd thing to say but I have experienced God, I would not have such a strong idea about what I believe if not. So how do I make sure that I am not just talking about things but actually helping people to experience what I have, especially if they are in difficult situations which when you say God is Faithful makes them real in anger because that is not what they are experiencing at that time.

Well, I'm going to come back to that, hopefully on Wednesday.

So, I am talking tomorrow......

Some of you that don't know me really well, might not know that I believe in God. In fact, when I moved to Norwich, I joined my cousin in planting a new church into the city center. You may wonder why I say that I believe in God rather than saying I am a Christian, well, the word Christian sometimes conjurs up some interesting pictures in peoples heads and that is something I don't want to do.

I have never started a conversation telling someone that I am a Christian, indeed its not until someone really gets to know me that they find out exactly what I believe. Why is that you may ask, is it because you are ashamed? Is it because you are worried?

There is one reason and one reason only why I don't come out with it straight away, I like people to get to know me, to become friends with me for who I am. Lets face it, when someone says they a Christian it often brings up negative images straight away, even to me and I am one.

I love talking to someone and getting into conversations that are deep, the kind that you only get into once you are real friends and then speaking about my faith, after all, at that point I am being invited to talk about what I believe.

If you want to know why I am a Christian, feel free to ask a question in a comment on this post, in the meantime, let me tell you how it changes the way that I run te record label.

As you probably know, the record label is called Broeknrule, why? Because we want to break the rules of the record industry, we want to act fairly, we want to treat the artists and the fans with the up most respect and not just be after their money. People have said to me that you can't do business in a moral and fair way, I hope to prove that wrong.

I would love to converse with people that have a belief, please leave a comment below if you do. It doesn't need to be in the Christian God, it could be Budda, yourself or even Captain Kirk, let me know!

Some quite good quotes.........

These are some quite good quotes I discovered the other day. All about Christianity, I think they sum things up really well.

I have more and will probably add some soon.

My argument against God was that the universe seemed so cruel and unjust. But how had I got this idea of just and unjust? A man does not call a line crooked unless he has some idea of a straight line. What was I comparing this universe with when I called it unjust? If the whole show was bad and senseless from A to Z, so to speak, why did I, who was supposed to be part of the show, find myself in such a violent reaction against it?... Of course I could have given up my idea of justice by saying it was nothing but a private idea of my own. But if i did that, then my argument against God collapsed too--for the argument depended on saying the world was really unjust, not simply that it did not happen to please my fancies. Thus, in the very act of trying to prove that God did not exist - in other words, that the whole of reality was senseless - I found I was forced to assume that one part of reality - namely my idea of justice - was full of sense. If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never have known it was dark. Dark would be without meaning.

C.S. Lewis

....................................................................................

For when we cease to worship God, we do not worship nothing, we worship anything.

G. K. Chesterton

....................................................................................

A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is... A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in.

C. S. Lewis

....................................................................................

If God were small enough to be understood, He would not be big enough to be worshiped.

Evelyn Underhill

....................................................................................

Out of 100 men, one will read the Bible, the other 99 will read the Christian.

D.L. Moody

Blackadder.... Episode 5

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A game for you.......

I love this game, ever wondered what its going to be like to get old? Something like this I guess????.........



http://www.kewlbox.com/games/GameLaunch.aspx?GameId=241

Help Needed

Ok, for once, a serious note! I need you help.

In the Autumn, I will be running some tours around the UK, Europe and America. I need to get the bands names out there as music as I can, the main one being Mowglee.

You can check out the band and their music at www.musicfinity.com/mowglee and the best thing you can do to help if you like them, is register and click the recommend a band tool. This will send out an email to your contacts letting them know about the band which is invaluable exposure for us.

Thanks!!

Mike

Episode 4

I would hate to keep you waiting for the next episode, so here it is......


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Sad News

A couple of weeks ago, I was overjoyed to see that the lovely pheasant in our garden had had a litter of around 8 chicks. They were happily following the mother around the garden so I gave them some food. I was hoping that Roland, my pet Blackbird, who comes and says hello every time I am doing the garden and is almost at the point of eating food from my fingers, wouldn't get too jealous but it seems that he has.

A turf war has started and the Blackbird has hired a fox to do its dirty work. I went down the garden yesterday to find a lot of feathers on the grass, the pheasant was gone, her chicks? I have no idea. And you know the worst thing, some of you are laughing at this, yes, you know who you are (your name starts with a J)

This has been most disturbing to me, that Pheasant was becoming a big part of my life. I was drooling every time I thought about it, thinking about how plump I could get it before getting Craigs gun and having it on a plate in the Autumn. And it wasn't just the pheasant, it had produced 8 more meals for me, I don't know how my belly will cope!!!

Please join with me in my mourning. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, roast pheasant.

And todays episode is........

I believe we are up to episode 3, so here it is........


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Busy Days

Oh my goodness, I know I have to keep this up to date but its so busy right now, its almost impossible. All I will say today is thank goodness God is on my side. So far this week, I have had two things that have been really good developments which were both things I had been really praying about last week.

The first is to do with the Musicfinity.com development which has taken a lot longer than expected and the other is to do with the PA Hire side of the business which, since moving to Norwich has died a death.

So, thanks God for helping me out, especially as these were two things I had no idea how to sort and you have just done it for me.

Back from France

Well, here I am back in the UK after spending the last 4 days getting to France and back. Its quite a long way! I spent £62, 6 hours and 400 miles on the train, 20 hours in a car, driving 1200 miles and 3 hours on a ferry. And what for? A 45 minute gig. Thats right, 45 minutes of fame for Mowglee, the first band I ever took on.

In fact, that was about 3 years ago now and at last we are managing to get them out there a bit more. In fact, later this year we have a European, American and Uk tour planned. Should be fun!!!

As it happens, the 45 minutes we played in France was probably the best we have ever had, I will post some video of it on here soon, the people at the gig loved it!!

Anyway, I know what you are thinking.......... You want me to shut up my rambling and post another episode of Blackadder! Well I am hurt, but I can't blame you, here it is...


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Last for today but not least

Well, you have to have a game as well........

http://www.crazymonkeygames.com/BowMaster-Prelude.html

I seem to have got rather addicted to this. Nearly as much as:

http://www.crazymonkeygames.com/Boxhead-More-Rooms.html

A new feature of my blog....

I seem to have found a site that allows you to embed loads of tv stuff into your websites so I thought to keep you entertained while I am away for a few days I would start a series of Blackadder on here. I am starting with Blackadder goes Forth, only because it was the series I remember most and got into first. I just love Blackadder!


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Oh Dear

Oh deary me, it seems that I have not updated this since December. The fact is, its because I have been lazy, simple as that but I was talking to someone the other day and it made me realise it was time to carry on.

I commented that I had not been on here for a while and they said, 'yes, not since the 29th December'. It was at that point I realised that people do actually read what is on here so here we go, time to start again!

Only one problem, I am starting this on the day that I leave to work in France for a couple of days with no internet access so I won't actually be writing anything for a few days, sorry.

In the meantime, below are some small videos from a gig I did at the weekend, enjoy.... ps. Toby Mac, Brilliant!!!!!!